My Coming Of Age Story

Today is December 30, 2018, that New Year draws nlgher still. As I was writing my previous article, "A Time For Reflecting On The Past And To Ponder The Future", I was listening to one of my many favorite on-line radio stations. This one plays Classic Rock tunes of the 70's and 80's, which is mostly the type of the music I grew up with. In that article I stated, "Every now and again darkness falls upon my mind as I reflect on those failures and heart-wrenching times of my past, or even my present, as I may also ponder what my future may hold. Often I will make the use of listening to music to help clear my mind and more times than not I will come out of that darkness and be able to see things in a new light."

Awhile back I found the following quote, "Who first said that music hath charms to soothe the savage breast, I know not; but that it is true, I am sure. Who has not felt the melting power of music, and stopped to listen to the sweet strains of some simple melody which has brought, or nearly brought, tears to his eyes? Where is the breat that has not been stirred by the cathedral organ, and choristers echoing their sacred strains through the aisles and corridors, and dying away, as it were, in heaven above? Will not the sweet but simple ballad of "Home, Sweet Home," when sung in a foreign land, wake memories from the dead, and melt the hardest heart; rouse every grand, noble, unselfish, and patriotic feeling in the breast, and carry the hearer thousands of miles across the storm-tossed oceans and seas that separate him from his own beloved country, the dwelling place of those near and dear to him, the model land of his heart, the resting place of his sires, his adored and honored fatherland." - T. Augustus Forbes Leith, "On Music", Short Essays

Yes, as I listened to those Classic Rock tunes of the 70's and 80's, the powers of that music took me on an emotional roller coaster ride as I continued to reflect on my past, present and future. Happiness and innocence were remembered. Sadness and a loss of innocence were remembered. I recently read that the "Loss of innocence in literature is a character arc where a character presented at the start is naive or extremely idealistic and through the action of the story gains knowledge, understanding and experience that alters behavior at the end. This loss of innocence can be positive in that the character exchanges poorly founded beliefs for better ones. It can also be negative in that a character could abandon beliefs worth fighting for because of despair at their practicality. The positive case is usually called a coming of age story."

The innocence of my youth was lost at the age of thirteen in 1976. Do you remember being thirteen? It's not an easy age. You're no longer a child but you're not yet an adult either. Your body and your mind goes through changes. Normalcy, Friends, Freedom, Fears, Excitement, and Angst...

Chaos ensues!

Turning thirteen, it is both good and bad. Back in 1976 when I was still twelve, within a few months of each other, both of my Grandfathers died. One in mid Spring, the other in early Summer. In the late part of that Summer, on the 28th day of August to be exact, the very day I reached my thirteenth birthday, I was having a heart-to-heart talk with my Grandmother about the upcoming divorce of my parents.

In the early part of 1977 their divorce was finalized and from then until around Thanksgiving of 1979 even more chaos ensued. I, being the youngest of five, watched each of my sisters and brothers leave, what was once thought-to-be by me the happy home of a Baptist Preacher and his family. They each left in what I describe as under less than pleasant conditions. But as I said in my previous article, "There have been heart-warming times and there have been heart-wrenching times. From each of these I have tried to learn something." and this was certainly an event to learn by.

While I have often mentioned finding solace in music, another way I do is writing. Whether it be articles such as this or ones about my fictional character/alter-ego of medieval days. I made up a quote for him that reads, "In this life one should have hope and perseverance in the face of adversity. But at times one may come to question everything that was once regarded as an absolute truth and consider the realization that everything you once believed in might not exist." - Tallen Cyenns. That quote was inspired by some music from an album by a Hard rock, Alternative metal, Progressive metal, Post-grunge band that I like. It seems to almost perfectly sum up my life.

However I know that deep down in my heart and soul, that it has been and will always be the love of God that ultimately allows me to "come out of that darkness and be able to see things in a new light". If it had not been for my belief in God I may have never made it through those trying times when I was just thirteen.

I have been up now for almost 24 hours and as I wrote this article I was still listening to those Classic Rock tunes of the 70's and 80's... That's my "coming of age" story!